Because i care

miss mum so much...
so so so so so so much..

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the fruittynes of the lollipop created its own juice in my mouth.
sounds disgusting if u think about it.

he called them beautiful kids, actually to use his exact words without accusations, he said "beautiful children".
and right then i knew it came from deep within himself. and it jus got me thinking of his life..of how his life is almost the same as the example tht was given, but yet not the same. got me thinking if it was hard for him to deal with it, got me thinking if it needed training, and patience to be strong and be able to handle it. to be able to sleep with a different thought in mind eventually rather than the same every night..

a fist as big as an athlete's punched me hard in the gut

The breeze was forcing me to leave the house and take a walk despite the clouds of the heavy rain thats about to greet us. ive always adored the wind. i mean even when it came to captain planets characters i chose to be 'wind' ,winka was her name. Actually i think i was water ,Gi,lol. cos i remember winka was girly lol.
so the breeze reminded me of our summer home by the beach, but mostly reminded me of the strong aroma of coffee beans mother always brewed and served in a pot for father and hersef. i remember back home during my vacations wen i was still a kid, every noon my aunt grabbed her equipments needed for the brewing and sat singing happily. i remember clearly because i always squatted beside her in utter amazement.i remember her seyin a robust coffee is what made her mood function perfectly for the rest of the day.
whats amazing is that the neighbours would come and gather themselves for what they dont describe as caffeine down their system but a little coffee party with more than one cup gulped down their throat. But yet again, i think they were fully aware of the caffeinated beverage as there was a strict rule to "kids arent allowed coffee".. as if it was some kind of wine. that always created a sense of curiosoty to why not.
today, i LOVE COFFEE. laughs...

I ran the tap water ... just to debar the floating misery enclosing my heart.....

i believe in fate, i believe Allah has a better plan for me.
I believe i shud just get through my uni life as i'm not even certain i'd be living up to that day when i graduate.
I beleive every little thing could be a sign, both optimistic and pesimistic. well, me and the colour purple discovered that today.
I believe theres a purpose to every reasoning, but is there a reasoning to a lie?
im here with papers to fill, its funny, becasue it almost feels like a divorce document. I' ll havta go to finance and whatnot as if they are my lawyer. It's a funny fit to the description of my situation.
right now, i can smile, jus thinking its my fate and i should accept it and that Allah is with me throughout, but yet im saddened by the whole idea of why they can't try helping me. because if they tried and it failed, ill accept it right away, with lesser emotions. but they refused to even try. they refused to let me claim whats almost my right, they refused to have me use my voice which they have no right over at all. They refused.

Sometimes, wen i sit and ponder, i see the problem is from me, not them, i started it.I released the gas, they jus lit the match. If i wasn't so much of a fickle mind, eritin wud've been different. but yet again i question myself, am i fickle minded for a purpose?
i really dont know, im not jus stuck in reverse right now but my normality will be stuck in there for a while too.
it's crazy how something not that much of a value can mean the world and bring u collapsing to the ground.
i shouldnt be in this pessimistic state and believe this is the end of everything for me, atleast i was given the chance to appeal.this is not that bad compared to someone who lost their loved ones and were not able to do anything about it, no appeal no nothing, but they can still stand on their feet.why am i complaining so much?how many ppl r there with bigger problems? my problem is nothing. infact, i should just say "Alhamdullilah"

theres this people who steal

no not thieves

they stole from me

nope not gold

they really did steal, i dont have diamonds though

they stole twice

im serious

not money

nope not pearls

im serious

they stole my dream

they even stole my accepted career

its that place we all know...

chance gave me a chance to be friends with one of the nicest guy, but i made little of it.so he left and then i graduated.
now he is in a diferent continent n here i am!!
then chance thought, "hey, let me give her another chance"..
whataya know, im emptying all my anger to him.
now i call him my friend.
funny.
i guess im trying to sey everyone should be given a second chance.
uia? ...can u hear me?
ofcourse u dont!!!!

bleeding heart

i just hurt my own heart.
i stabbed it continuously on a wound that has always been a tumour
a wound that no word can cure
the tumour grew and expanded further.
i don't need a doctors prescription because this is not sickness.
its cure has to be sought from deep within..
within the inner soul, or perhaps harder than it already sounds .
This is going to take time...
a lot of time indeed!
time is a factor in everything..
i need to speed time.. i can't afford to wait.. i need time to pass by fast!
yet, time is gold,we need to preserve it.

he went out to take a road less travelled by, but by then i already panicked and missed him. Now she awaits him because she knows during the journey to time,he is the remedy.

the game with brazil was definitely a heart breaker, im this close to not watching any game. Im only watching it to see spain walk away with the cup..or it'll be nutin but a total despair!
uruguay played really well and so did ghana actually, it would have been nice if ghana made it to the semi finals, since it was the only african country that made it this far! but im also happy with the effort uruguay showed,they are known to be strong so a round of appluase!!!
the game was a boiler,it lead to an additional time of 30 mins and eventually to da round of penalties..ghana screwed all their penalty shots from the very start. As for uruguay, their attempt of shots was every now and then but yet the ball refused to get in, or perhaps maybe ghana had an excellent goalie- kingson was his name

P.S waiting for the argentina and germany and then spain and uruguay..
fingers crossed!
but they always say..the heart speaks louder!

blue..
exasperated..
psychologically depressed..
heart brokened..
saddened..
infuriated...
outraged..

soemone hasta call FIFA n reschedule the whole world cup from start!!
this is wrong..