im not afraid.

but it feels like fear.

fear to protect my own self. now is that wrong?

i feel selfish, selfish enough not to give another chance, selfish becos i have already given too many chances before, now is that wrong?

im devastated,not at anyone, but at myself, now is that wrong?

i long and yearn to be a kid again, now is that wrong?

i stop myself ffrom reminiscing the good times, now is that wrong?

everyday as my heart leans towards being united again, i remember the reason of the detachment jus so as to gain back the strength of not giving in, now is that wrong?

everytime i remember, my heart pounds like a fist beating on a drum, now is that wrong?

everytime a word describes something similar, i get the shiver, now is that wrong?

everytime i forget, i remeber again, now is that wrong?

everytime i know i have forgiven, but i dont want to repeat the past, now is that wrong?

eveytime i feel that as long as i have forgiven and have some love stil in the heart, i dont need it any more structured, now is that wrong?

everytime i care, i get hurt, now is that wrong?

everytime im awake, im asleep, now is that wrong?

everytime i dream,its actually a scene from a fairy tale.now is that wrong?

everytime i cry,im not certain ill find immediate comfort, now is that wrong?

but also everytime i cry, i get all da comfort needed, now is that wrong?

everytime i start to wipe my tears from the very tip really well, its a signal from my brain asking me to stop crying already, and i do, now is that wrong?

everytime i wanna make sure i stop feeling the pain, i make sure i tell myself its ok,almost denial aint it? now is that wrong?

everytime i wanna scream my lungs out, im in a closed place, now is that wrong?

everytime i try the screaming on the pillow method, i scream only quarter my lungs out, now is that wrong?

SO,everytime i wanna feel light again, .I run the tap water .. and it debars the floating misery enclosing my heart.

....